Samuel A. Kojoglanian, MD, FACC, FSCAI
Gene is 80 years old and had been married for 45 years, having lost his wife 10 years ago. He used to be the life of the party, where grandkids and the whole gang couldn’t get enough of him. But since his wife died he’s been a different Gene: depressed, introspective, lying in bed all day, and declining to interact with his family.
I see Gene because of an erratic heart rate, which we’ve controlled. He has a condition called Sick Sinus Syndrome, where his heart goes too slow and then too fast. He will need a pacer, but declines, understanding the consequences. It’s tough to treat a patient who does not want to get better. For the past 5 years, our visits are filled with laughter and always a challenge where I press him to walk and interact more. His daughter-in-law brings him in faithfully and cares for him in their house.
I last saw Gene one week ago, and asked him if walked daily, if he stopped watching TV all day, and if he began spending more time with family. No to all the questions. Because of a solid relationship, and Gene’s awareness that I care for him, I surprised him on this visit.
“You know what Gene?” I asked.
“What,” he said.
“You’re just plain selfish. You focus on what you don’t have, or what you’ve lost, and you’ve got a beautiful family caring for you, loving you, feeding you and you act like they don’t exist. That’s plain selfish. I know you hurt that you lost your wife, but do you really think you’re honoring her by dishonoring your family…by giving them a stiff arm? Show love to your family…they are alive. Speak to those who love you now. Get up off your behind and walk, join your family…honor yourself, honor your wife, honor your family, and honor your God! Got me?”
I looked at my patient. He was crying. But oh, was he ever so thankful. I looked at his daughter in law. She was floored. But oh, was she beaming with hope. My patient committed to change that day. His demeanor and smile spoke of it.
Celebrate what you have. Be thankful for what you’ve got. Verbalize it. If you can’t be thankful for what you have now, what makes you think you’ll be thankful when you get more?
For further information on your cardiovascular health, contact Dr. Kojoglanian, the Mender of Hearts, at (661) 259-1711; 24868 Apple Street #103, Santa Clarita, CA 91321. Website: RockYourPlanet.net