Written by Samuel A. Kojoglanian, MD, FACC, FSCAI Wednesday, 26 February 2014 15:12

My patient was so proud of the “title” I had given him: I called him, “Bud.” On the day of his funeral, his daughter said, “My dad was so touched by your love, he would say, ‘My Doc calls me ‘bud,’ he calls me ‘bud’!’ Dr. K, he loved you!” I knew all this. I cried anyway.
I met Sid on my cardiac catheterization table when he was 80, about 10 years ago, when we almost lost him as he was having a massive heart attack. One stent opened up his heart artery and changed his life.

I challenged him to lose weight because he had a bypass at age 65 and his disease continued to progress. He didn’t lose any weight until he started using a walker at age 87. In a matter of two years, he lost 50 pounds and gave his walker to someone who was in need. He walked without assistance for the next three years. His daughter told me, “He lived because you saved him; he walked because you challenged him; you made all the difference, Dr. K.” “It’s all by God’s grace,” I said. “Yes, but God used you.” I knew all this. I cried anyway.
Recently, when Sid was in my office, we talked about his future. He told me he did not have much more time to live, and was heading to a better placed of no pain, tears, sickness or fears. He knew he was going to meet his Maker and he was at peace. He was 91 when he passed away. I knew that day would come someday. I cried anyway.
In a world that is pushing doctors to be more computerized and robot-like, see more patients hurriedly to make ends meet, painfully increasing premiums on patients and unreasonably decreasing reimbursements on doctors, it is choice each doctor must make to keep a balance between sharing of his heart and keeping a practice alive. We all have to make difficult decisions, and at times change practice habits without comprising patient care. In so doing, no matter what the chatter, character is who we are. Reputation is simply what people believe we are.
Make changes cautiously and justly when it’s time. Laugh when laughter is called for. Cry when it’s time to cry. When Sid died, I knew in my heart it was time. I cried anyway.